Two Steps Forward… 

Sometimes I forget about my recovery. That might sound like a good thing. People might assume that I usually worry over my health, and that forgetting would mean “enjoying life.” But I don’t mean that at all. I’m not much of a worrier, and I strive to appreciate my life every day, just as it is. 

What I mean by forgetting is that I’m still in the old mental habit of assuming gradual improvement: If I do some exercise today I’ll be able to do the same or more tomorrow, or soon. If I feel good today,  I will feel the same or better tomorrow. 

Self-care in my situation requires remembering. It’s a daily effort of balancing activity and stillness. I may want to wash, dry, and put away two baskets of laundry, but my body will tell me when I need to take breaks, and when I’ve done enough for one day. 

It’s frustrating when I’ve had to re-wash a load of laundry because I ran out of energy after starting the wash cycle. After two days sitting wet, I’d wash it again! 

I should make plans tentatively, not assuming anything. But it’s so easy to get ahead of myself. I’ve told all my Facebook friends that I’ll be walking in the Houston Women’s March this Saturday. The march is at 11:00 a.m., the rally downtown in front of City Hall is at noon. 

I have a self-diagnosed sinus infection. I’m waiting to hear back from my Stem Cell Transplant team (my one-stop medical shop) on whether they’ll call in a prescription. I’m going to see them tomorrow anyway, so they will be waiting to see me in person. 

The blood tests I take tomorrow will tell me how anemic I am and how my kidneys are doing, among other things. There’s always a chance that my hemoglobin level has dropped again. In that case I’ll need another transfusion, which means I’ll be at Anderson all day. 

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